Kids Say and Do the Darndest Things

While going through some old things, I found a speech I wrote for an Oral Communications class, when I attended East Central Community College, in Decatur, MS.

 If you have ever been around kids, you know they can do and say some of the funniest things, usually at exactly the wrong time.

When my niece Stacey was small she was either really sweet or what we called a “Holy Terror”, usually the latter.  I still have a picture of her in my head, sitting in her parents kitchen floor, with Crisco in her hair, looking like a cone head from Saturday Night Live.  If you got up one day and you did not look to good she would be the first to let you know.  One day I won’t forget is the day our family preacher came for a visit.

Stacey was use to seeing “The Reverend Bobby Fergurson” with his hair slicked back, decked out in his Sunday best.  On this particular day he came over in his blue jeans, an old shirt, and his fishing hat.  He came in and sat down at the table and talked for awhile.  Stacey kept looking, and looking, trying to figure out what was different about him.  Finally, after much contemplation, she glanced up at him and ask, “What in the hell is that on your head?” Brother Bobby just laughed, and my sister looked for the nearest hole to crawl in.

My children also had a knack for doing and saying some of the funniest things.  According to the speech I wrote while attending ECCC, this guy named Mitch came over to my house one day (I don’t remember him, but I’m sure he remembers me) and sat down on my couch.  My son, David, who was a little over two years old, started entertaining him.  David ran to his room, and came back out with a "He Man" toy.  David put the "He Man’s" fist out front , and went up to the guy and goes, “Bow, he’ll knock your teeth out.”  The guy didn’t have many teeth as it was, and now he had one less. Mitch was really nice and told me the tooth was loose anyway.  When he showed me the tooth, I fell out laughing.  As usual, the harder I tried not to laugh, the worse it got.  Thank goodness Mitch was a good sport!

On another occasion, my apartment was invaded by crickets.  They were everywhere, and we didn’t want to step on them, so David and I would catch them, and let them go.  However, David did not call them crickets, he had another name for them.

Soon after this I took David to the doctor’s office for a check-up.  The fist thing David said to the doctor was, “We’ve got roaches all over our house.”  I immediately began trying to explain, and only made things worse.  I know the doctor felt my embarrassment, but I don’t think he believed my story about the crickets. 

If you have a funny story you would like to share about your kids, please feel free to do so in the comment section of this blog.