Monday, November 25, 2013

Would Ending My Life Be Better For My Kids?

This was the question Sandra Hughley ask herself as she left her house a few days ago.  Fortunately she went to see her pastor instead of allowing the negative thoughts to over take her.  Because of her sever Endometriosis, Sandra finds herself in need of financial help.

"I have severe endometriosis, http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/endometriosis/DS00289 and it has covered my bowels and bladder. I sometimes have diarrhea 25 times a day, and it makes it nearly impossible to work.  It is embarrassing for me to tell you this, but I have messed on myself,  because I have such urgency, I can't get to the bathroom on time.  I have two children, ages 4 and 17, and it makes it really hard, because I have to plan our outings around my diarrhea."


 "I was told 16th Avenue Church would help people, but they said I must first be approved by Wesley House. When I went to Wesley House (United Way just suspended funds to them)  http://www.meridianstar.com/local/x967391629/United-Way-pulls-Wesley-House-funding  they said before they could help me with my power, rent, or anything else, I would have to go to financial classes for 16 weeks, once a week.to learn how to manage my money, "

I told him, " I don't have 16 weeks, I need help now."  He ask how I had been paying my bills, and I told him I was working, and I budgeted my rent off commissions. I didn't plan on getting sick and having to have a multitude of surgery's.  I have used my savings, my 401K, sold my Ipad, tv, anything I can get rid of to get money, but it isn't enough."

"I am a single mom,  I get $700 a month in child support, and because so many people are working here with the coal mine, rental properties are scarce, and my rent is $925.00 a month.  My pastor is working on some apartments based on your income, and is trying to get me in one of those.  My parents don't have room for us, and if I can't get some help soon, my children and I are looking at being homeless.

Sandra's problems began after she had two Cesarean sections with her children, and then had to have a complete hysterectomy in December of 2011, because of endometrosis, and was hospitalized again in January 2012 with internal bleeding.  

Then it was sinus surgery, a tonsillectomy, and in  Jan 2013 her Gallbladder erupted.  " I kept telling them I was still in pain and my stomach was always hurting,  and they said it was stomach bile, and put me on something else.  One doctor wants me to go to the pain management center,  and put me on narcotics for the pain, that might be a short term solution, but long term that isn't the answer I want, or how I want to live my life.

I was sent back to work on November the 4th, of this year, but made 4 ER visits after that, because I was in such pain.  The first ER doctor, Doctor Williams at Rush, acted like it was all in my head,  and treated me like I was a drug addict, even running a drug screen (which came back negative) without my permission. I did not even want to go to the hospital after the way he treated me, but I had no choice.

Fortunately the next time she went to the ER the doctor looked at her history and put her in the hospital to run some test.

 "I was bloated and it looked like I was pregnant.  I was found to have gastroparesis,http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/gastroparesis/ and she discovered my lymph nodes were inflamed, possibly from stomach acid, and added another med, 3x a day before I eat to help my stomach empty.  She also discovered they did not get all of my endometrosis, and I will need to have surgery again, but she said no one in Meridian will touch me and I will need to go to the Center for Endometriosis Care in Atlanta, Georgia. http://www.centerforendo.com/

It was at this point in our conversation that Sandra broke down crying, and I broke down with her.

Her story reminds me too much of my sweet niece Heather, and all she went through before she passed away.

"The Endometroisis Center in Atlanta has reviewed my medical files and say they will be able to remove all the endometrosis and get everything reconstructed." 

Her surgery is going to require her to go to Atlanta, and will require lodging and food for several days. Her out of pocket, that she has to have up front, is $3,550, and she doesn't have the money. She is getting food stamps of $300 per month, but her medicine is $300.00 per month, and her electric bill is overdue for two months, and she doesn't have enough to pay her rent.

"I have so much going on and it's the holidays. I have already had to tell my oldest not to expect much. Now I am worried  about a roof over our heads and other bills."

If you can help Sandra, her address is :  8317 Pine Springs Road, Unit E Meridian, MS 39305 

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